Long time no post.

i feel like screaming because i havent done a tutorial for monday
and i recognize that time is running out
and i im wasting the morng and possibly the whole day away
agn oh dear dear...

i look in the wrong places.
that has the ring of truth
i search for solace and comfort
in the wrong things.
wat should i do?

what do i want?

is THAT what i reallie desire?
just THAT?
just Him?
Peace?
im unsure.
it feels like THAT is what i want.

i experience anger,
confusion.

i feel like screaming and i feel like crying
but i won't.

i do not feel indignant
and i do not feel a caving in
i do not feel invisible walls pushin in
or maybe ive learnt not to feel.

am i truly alone?

no it cannot be...
surely i must be blessed
that i know people
that people are around me
if i reach out, at least a few will answer.

do not put your faith in people.
they will disappoint, eventually.

yet commune with people
because we are people.

live life.
don't smoke
submit
your body is not yours/
work hard
you can do it
and you feel glad after its done
rest when u need to
but do not slacken
or complain when u return to your task.

love cry hope
express yourself.
fear is in greater amount
fear is an excuse
cast out fear.
love casts out fear.

i hold grudges.
i shall not hold grduges anymore.

let me forgive.
let me "remember them no more"

thank you.

To all the people that are a part of my life
thank you.
in small ways n bigger ones
you are what makes life meaningful